“I won’t even miss me” The last post I was posting on facebook. I was going to get dressed for work like any other Monday, except going to work I was turning the other way, knife to the ready, and stop and kill myself.
Funny how the body sometimes doesn't do what you want it to do, cause early Monday morn, I had a panic attack along with an anxiety attack. My very wonderful wife Dawn knew something was wrong, next thing I know she had me at the ER which then lead me to a 9 day stay in a Mental Behavioral Unit. Other wise the crazy house, or looney bin.
So, I’ve been gone for awhile, I have a disease , Severe Depression, Anxiety, Panic attacks and a mild case of agoraphobia. Along with chronic pain disorder, a medical illness that causes a
persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Depression can cause
physical symptoms, too. Also called major depression, major depressive
disorder and clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave.
Depression can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems.
You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression
may make you feel as if life isn't worth living. Three weeks ago this past
Monday I had my plan in order to end it all. Thank God for Dawn, she saw
me having a major anxiety attack, she quickly got me to St. Mary’s ER,
where they admitted me to the Mental Behavioral Unit, where over the
nine days I got help, medications and one on one and group therapy. I
will now be seeing a therapist and a psychologist to further help me
deal with this disease. I’ve put a mask on for a long time, I’ll still
joke on facebook, but I will now, also, be transparent, “doctors
orders”. Thanks to Rick Orrel, John Moon, Milo Pittman and Dawn Piitman,
along with many more.
Coming up I will attempt to blog about some of the people I met, during the nine days of "therapy".