Friday, August 21, 2009

Father develops cleaning obsession after cornea transplant


Father develops cleaning obsession after cornea transplant

A father developed a cleaning obsession following a cornea transplant that he says "must have come from a woman." Before the operation, Will Palmer, 46, was happy to leave household chores to his partner Sarah Gadsby. However, since the father-of-three had a cornea transplant in March this year he has taken to doing the dusting and washing up and developed an aversion to grime he didn't have before.
Mr Palmer, a financial adviser, said: "Since having the transplant my vision is almost 20/20. I've can now notice every speck of dust and dirt and can't help but have a go at cleaning it up as I go along."Before my vision started to deteriorate my partner had to pester me into doing my bit around the house. Sarah always said I never did enough washing up and hoovering, but now I'm always at it. For some reason seeing the grime gets right on my nerves and I have to do something about it. It started as a joke that I must have been given the cornea of a woman but I really do think it's true.
"There's a reason why men don't clean like this and I think it's because we just don't see the dirt, but I see it everywhere I go."Mr Palmer, who plays tennis, golf and squash, contracted corneal disease Fuchs Dystrophy six years ago. The condition causes cells lining the inner surface of the cornea, the thin layer that covers and protects the iris and pupil and is responsible for two thirds of the eye's vision, to slowly die. This meant that over time the sight in Will's right eye had deteriorated so much that everything appeared cloudy and blurred. It was also sensitive to light. Mr Palmer got a much-needed transplant, which took 40 minutes under local anaesthetic, at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital, Sheffield, South Yorks., after being on the list for just six months. Scientific studies have suggested that up to a third of organ transplant patients believe they have inherited changes in their personalities, preferences and skills from their donors.

PS. My Dad got false teeth and didn't stop talking for two weeks straight. Come to find out he got the wrong teeth, the woman was much happier after she got them back.
thanks to arbroath

K9 Volume 02 Issue 03


Thursday, August 20, 2009

THINGS YOU DON'T HEAR ANYMORE


Things you don’t hear anymore

Be sure to refill the ice trays, we’re going to have company.

Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today
Quit slamming the screen door when you go out !

Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.

Don’t forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

Wash your feet before you go to bed, you’ve been playing outside all day barefooted.

Why can’t you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle Chain so many times is tearing them up.

You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.

Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!

Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.

Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.

Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.

Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.

Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!

Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.

You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.

There’s a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.

Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.

You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.

Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.

If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!

Don’t lose that button; I’ll sew it back on after awhile.

Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.

Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!

Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don’t have to do that tonight in the dark.

Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.

Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.

Don’t turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.

No! I don’t have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?

Eat those turnips, they’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.

That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don’t care how cold it is out there, dogs don’t stay in the house.

Sit still! I’m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.

Hush your mouth! I don’t want to hear words like that! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!

It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.

If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.

Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won’t get infected.

When you take your driving test, don’t forget to signal each turn. Left arm straight out the window for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn; and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.

It’s: ‘Yes Ma’am!’ and ‘No Ma’am!’ to me, young man, and don’t you forget it!

Thanks Gene

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

EDIBLE PLAY-DOH


Ok – where was this when I was little?

You could could just take regular cookie dough and add food coloring. But these edible play dough balls come already packed and in different shades of color.

Completely delicious and 100% safe, this groundbreaking clay can be shaped, baked and eaten. Simply add water, mix it, knead it and then model it into whatever takes your fancy. Once you’re happy with your creation, bung it in the oven for 15-30 minutes and hey presto, colourful biscuits ready to eat!


Despite the vivid colours, Yummy Dough contains vegetable-based colouring agents only, so parents can rest assured kiddies won’t turn into Violet Beauregarde-style blueberries after a few too many biccies.

Ready to eatTalking of colours, each Yummy Dough pack comes with four dough sachets in four different colours (red, blue, green and yellow), and just like regular playable dough you can mix ‘em up to create new colours (that’ll be brown, then). You also get a moulding tool for intricate details and a leaflet packed with ideas. Judging by the reaction down at the Firebox crèche, kids absolutely adore this stuff and will happily fiddle with it for hours on end. We’ve seen Spongebob shapes, animal shapes, fishy shapes, flowery shapes, Christmassy shapes - you name it. Some big kid even made an amorphous blob that looked like something a radioactive dog might deposit on the pavement.

http://www.essknete.com/us/

Friday, August 7, 2009

Calculate how much booze to kill you




CHOOSE YOUR DRINK



HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?





GIRL OR GUY?






Created by Bar Stools








-

HOW MUCH BOOZE WOULD IT TAKE TO KILL YOU

It would take 75 bottles of Guinness Guinness Draught to kill me

Created by Bar Stools

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Now these are Punny


It is said that the ability to make and understand PUNS is the highest level of language development. Here are the top 10 winners in the International Pun Contest.

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, ‘Dam!’

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says, ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why they asked, as they moved off. ‘Because,’ he said, ‘I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.’

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, ‘They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.’

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to ‘persuade’ them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is SO BAD, it’s good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And, finally, there was the person who posted ten different puns, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make his readers laugh. No pun in ten did.

OBAMA AND A UNICORN

I'm really trying to figure out what the artist is going for here. Can anyone, give me some insight.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Monday, August 3, 2009

notes and neurons

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.



Bobby McFerrin addresses the audience in a music lesson during the 2009 World Science Festival, June 12, 2009. The seminar was called "Notes & Neurons: In Search of the Common Chorus." I love how he knew exactly the way the audience would follow along. (via Metafilter)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

BLUE COLLAR KINGS





some friends of mine, i took promotional photos of recently, THE BLUE COLLAR KINGS